whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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