I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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