We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
