i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
