just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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