Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
