I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Where is the hickey?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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