did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
