I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
