Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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