I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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