There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
