Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.

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(804): View more from Virginia

don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you

(1-804): View more from Virginia

couldn't find a condom?

(804): View more from Virginia

basically

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(415): View more from California

I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"

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(720): View more from Colorado

i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

(720): View more from Colorado

and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

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(636): View more from Missouri

Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those

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(503): View more from Oregon

i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!

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