Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
