Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I currently don't understand fingers.
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