We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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