I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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