i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
