If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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