I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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