The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't turn off my feet"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
