woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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