Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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