I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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