My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just found puke in my bra..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
