we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
