like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
