he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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