Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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