nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
