Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
