Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
