Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
