The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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