the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
