Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
