oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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