maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize