I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
