GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
