I wish I could teleport
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
