How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
