she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
