You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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