cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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