I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
