i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
