see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
