Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
