my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
