so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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