Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
