She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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