Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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