I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
