i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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