thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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