Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
