ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
