I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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