So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
