No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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