She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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