He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
